Personal Check

I have now been home from my mission for about 4 months. During my scripture study this week I was reflecting back on what I have learned in these last 4 months. I was reading in Alma 7 where Alma is talking to the people of Gideon, and how he is pleased with how they have been acting while he has been away. This is a stark difference from chapters 5-6 where Alma is chastising the people for their actions.

I imagined which one of the speeches Alma would give to me after now being home for a couple of months. I hoped that it would be like chapter 7, and some parts were, but there were also parts from chapter 5 and 4 that seemed to also fit me quite well.

I want him to say to me... "yea, hath given unto me the exceedingly great joy of knowing that they are established again in the way of his righteousness." (7:4)

Although I am not perfect, I still have much room for improvement. Being home has been hard and its taken me a few months to feel back on my feet but as I reflected on my time home realized that I had continued to learn so much, even though I was no longer out serving the Lord 24/7. In my case I feel like I may have even learned more being home. This isn't me writing about what I have learned but more on the importance of looking back and reflecting what we have learned and where we are now because of it.

I hope that I can stay in the way of his righteousness now and forever.

Let Your Hearts Be Comforted

This week I went back and read some scriptures from my mission that meant a lot to me. I came across one that really impacted me and helped me to feel calm in regards to the upcoming future. 

16 Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God. 

My mission president shared this scripture with me and said that we can replace "Zion" with anything that is going on in our lives. This time I read it and replaced Zion with SCHOOL. School stresses me out more than anything in this world. I put so much pressure on myself to do well in school that I am constantly worried about what will happen. This scripture helps me to know that I am in Gods hands, and he will take care of me. When we really believe that God is God, and has all power and can do anything, than we can be still and obtain the peace that we want. 

I hope that as I remember this scripture I will be able have a comforted heart admit the finals and 3 years left of school that I have. 

Grateful Hearts

There are a few things that I feel like the Lord is constantly reminding me of. In may scripture study this week I was reminded of one of these things.

Alma 26:8
8 Blessed be the name of our God; let us sing to his praise, yea, let us give thanks to his holy name, for he doth work righteousness forever.

Gratitude. I think that it one of those virtues that we get to when we already have the other virtues, like charity and kindness. Its a harder virtue to obtain because it requires a lot more virtues to come before. Kind of like prerequisites to gratitude. 

I really believe that when we have gratitude in our hearts we will be so much happier and be better able to see the hand of God in our lives. I personally can be more grateful in my prayers. Instead of constantly asking for things I should be constantly singing praises of thanks to my father in heaven, who has given me so much. 

I love that when we are grateful we start to feel less in titled to blessing that we don't have because we see all of the blessings that we already have in our lives. 

I hope that I can have a more grateful heart and remember the Lords mercy in all things. 

A Savior To All

I had always loved 3 Nephi 11. As a missionary I would always find ways to share this chapter of scripture with those we were teaching. A special spirit always came from reading those verses and learning of Jesus Christ. This week while talking more in depth about 3 Nephi 11 I was once again reminded of the powerful testimony these scriptures give of Jesus Christ.

Brother Griffen talked about the Jesus blessing everyone "one by one" and the significance of the savior being our personal savior. I thoroughly enjoyed the class and walked away feeling the spirit.

15 And it came to pass that the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should come.

Later that night I was talking with my friends and one brought up how she hates that she is constantly feeling bad for her situation when its really not bad at all and there are people that have it much worse. While there may be truth in what she said, I immediately thought of how Jesus Christ is ALL of our savior. Not just the people who have it really bad off, or who have a really good life. He ultimately saves us all, in everyones personal needed way. Its a case by case situation. We all need the savior but we may all need him in different ways. I shared this with my friends and we had a very good talk about how the savior doesn't think we are any less deserving of his love because our lives aren't as terrible as those living in poverty or in war stricken areas.

He loves all of us.

Perspective

The past few days have been ones of growth. You learn so much about yourself in college. But I've learned that having a eternal perspective in mind helps. By eternal i mean looking at a larger image. Looking at the things in life that matter and try to not let the little things in life get you down. Making decisions with "eternal glasses" on helps me make better ones. It also helps keep me on track and holding onto that 'iron rod.' I read more about the Tree of Life in 1 Nephi Chapter 8 and Chapter 11 this last week and it was a good time to reflect where i was on the path. Was i holding to the rod or was i lagging behind??

This week i also went to the temple. The temple is a special place to me (as i am sure it is to most of you). It is where i can escape the world and focus on things that really matter. I went this morning and it was such a refreshing experience that i really needed. When i walk in i immediately feel a peace come over me. I am no longer worried about that Chinese exam i have on friday, or the reading that i need to do for my classes. I leave feeling ready for the weeks to come, spiritually feed, and with a different perspective. A better perspective. A eternal one.

Remember to think of a eternal perspective always, i promise it helps. 

Be grateful

This week I was reading in the Book of Mormon and I kept coming across scriptures that were reminding me to be grateful. Recently my prayers have consisted of me constantly asking for help, guidance, peace, happiness and answers. But hardly do I ever stop and thank him for helping me, giving me guidance, allowing me to feel peace, bringing me happiness and answering my prayers.

Nephi is a great example of a thankful person. Despite his more than difficult situation he was always thankful to the Lord. He never complained and he was always sure to immediately thank the Lord after a blessing had come to pass.
His dad Lehi was also an excellent example of someone who was always giving thanks to the Lord. I love 1 Nephi 5:9...

"9 And it came to pass that they did rejoice exceedingly, and did offer sacrifice and burnt offerings unto the Lord; and they gave thanks unto the God of Israel."

Nephi and his brothers had just returned from a long, dangerous trip to go and retrieve the plates from Laban. They were tired and I'm sure that his parents were VERY happy to see them arrive home safely. They could have easily just enjoyed each others company and celebrated but the first thing that Lehi does is give thanks to the Lord! It really shows where his thoughts and mind are- always directed to the Lord.

When we give more thanks I think that it was cause us to ask less for things because we will already see all the blessings that we have been given. I am grateful to the Book of Mormon for reminding me to always we grateful in all things.

His Yoke is Easy

Relying on the Lord is at times harder than we think. Sometimes we just get so caught up in the world and what is going on that we seem to be relying wholly on ourselves to accomplish what seems to be the impossible. Sometimes I find myself thinking "How am I ever going to get done everything that I need too?!" But then I realize that as long as I do my best, and my part, we can rely on the Savior to help with the rest. He is always there lending a hand to us that feel burdened down by the lists of "to-do's" and countless amounts of things to always remember.

I was comforted this week by a commonly quoted scripture... Matthew 11:28-30
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

I know that if we are willing to come unto christ we will find rest to our souls. Not necessarily saying that we will suddenly have nothing to do and be able to sleep, but our souls will find rest, which to me means that we will have peace. So despite how crazy life is we can have peace, because His yoke truly is easy and his burden truly is light.

Be Prepared

This last week i had the opportunity to stay with grandparents in Arizona for a few days and while there gained a lot of wisdom and advice from my grandpa. He's a very spiritual man and always has the best insights.
I was talking to him about the stresses of college and life and he opened up his scriptures to Doctrine and Covenants 38: 30 and read the very last part. Which reads:

"but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear."

He then went on to talk to me about how when we are prepared we can trust that the Lord will do his part and help us out. We must do our part and prepare, but after all is said and done we need not fear. Fear is a tool that Satan uses to make us feel like we aren't good enough and will never really become what we want to be. To consciously block out Satan's voice of fear is a hard thing to do, but we will be much better off when we do it, and the Holy Ghost will be there to help us out!

Theres always a way

This was probably the first week in the whole semester where I felt as though I actually had enough time to accomplish everything that I needed to do. This semester seemed to be an endless list of things that I needed to do and not enough time to ever get it all done.

Then this week in Book of Mormon we talked about seeking the kingdom of god before riches (reference to Jacob 2: 18) and my professor talked about how "riches" can really be replaced with anything. He specifically talked about time.

I immediately felt like my professor was speaking right to me.

He said that we may feel like we have no time for service, for reading and praying meaningfully, for our church calling, for visiting teaching (the list goes on and on) and honestly thats exactly how I was feeling. But honestly I was done feeling like this and I had kept being promoted by the spirit that I needed to place more time for spiritual things.

So this week I decided to test it out. I wasn't trying to "test" God or anything but I have been feeling like I have NO TIME for anything and the scripture says that if I put the kingdom of God first all of these things will work out. I had faith in the what the Lord was promising. And this week was so good!! I felt so much peace and felt like I had all the time I needed to accomplish what this week had in store.

When we put the Lord first he will find a way. Even when we are absolutely positive that there is no way... WITH THE LORD THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY.

Remember.

Reading in the Book of Mormon has brought me so much happiness. When I read I feel as though God is personally talking to me. Reading from the Book of Mormon is like reading from personal journal entries of people that came before.

This week I particularly loved reading about Nephi sharing his personal experience and his feelings in 2 Nephi chapter 4. To me Nephi is one of the toughest, humblest, never ever complains type of person, but in this chapter he really opens up and lets us see the feelings of his heart. From this chapter I feel like I can relate to Nephi 100%. 

In my life I feel like I am constantly worried and feeling stressed out about the future and what is it come. When I read chapter 4 I feel like I am Nephi. I at times cry out like Nephi...

"19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted."

The problem though is that sometimes I am lacking in the "I know in whom I have trusted" part. When I am feeling so overwhelmed and stressed about life I at times will forget in whom I have trusted. But when I remember I suddenly feel so much more peace and happiness, I suddenly feel calm.

Because honestly if we trust in god then everything will work out- we just need to remember in whom we have trusted.

Rejoice.

I think that everyone in life just wants to be happy. At least thats what I want. And I hope that I can be. I was pondering this a lot this last week and while doing so I came across a scripture that I really enjoy.

Mosiah 4: 10-12:

10 And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them.
 
11 And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.
 
12 And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.

Okay its pretty long but look at the underlined part. I was reading this and I thought it was great but then I got to the underlined part and was taken back. I read that and thought "WAIT, what can I do that will allow me to ALWAYS rejoice?!?" So I read back and read the things and compiled a list of things to do that will make us happy. I think that when we read the scriptures we all get different things out of it, so I don't want to share my list with you... but I encourage you to make your own! And continue to look for ways to be happy in the scriptures.

I know that the Book of Mormon really does bring true happiness into our lives. It will cause us to rejoice everyday!

Without Arms

This week as I read from the Book of Mormon I was thinking a lot about my relationship with others and how through my reading of the Book of Mormon I can improve them. I came across a scripture in Mosiah chapter 20 that I really liked. Its about this huge misunderstanding about the Lamainites going to attack the people of Limhi because they thought that they kidnapped their daughters (it was actually the priests of Noah). Anyways, they are trying to figure this huge problem out and when King Limhi heard about what was going on he requested that the people involved were brought to him immediately. He soon figures out that it wasn't any of his people at all. What is he supposed to do? His people are under attack. He has so many choices of action. And this is what he chooses... 

 26 And when the Lamanites saw the people of Limhi, that they were without arms, they had compassion on them and were pacified towards them, and returned with their king in peace to their own land.

He decided to go to them WITHOUT ARMS, he had no weapons on him, nothing, at all. And look what happens, the hearts of the Lamanites is softened! They had compassion on them and then returned peacefully to their own land. What a man. 

How many times do we, as humans, go into "talks" or "discussions" (or more like arguments) with a million "weapons" just ready to fire? I have been guilty many times. Usually these weapons manifest in the way we use our words and what we say to the other party. They normally end really bad, and both sides are hurt, sad and nothing is resolved. 

Sooo what if we did as King Limhi did and just went into these situations with out "arms"?? I think that things would end up a lot differently and we would walk away, just like them, PEACEFULLY. and who doesn't want a little more peace in their life? 

Just something to think about I guess. 

FEAR

FEAR.

This has been something that has been on my mind almost everyday this last week and ironically I attended a club meeting the other night where the speaker focused a lot of the topic of fear.

We are all scared of things. We all have fears. I think especially as a college student its easy to be really afraid. We are afraid of classes, of tests, of what we want to do/become/create/major in. Who is our future spouse? Will I ever find them? The list could go on foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
We honestly have no idea what the future holds.

How many times have we been so afraid of something, so worried, so terrified that we just simply shut down? It happens to me almost every week. I get so scared, so worked up, so overwhelmed that I just can't do anything but do nothing.

I hate it. I hate it so much. I know that I will be fine. and I know that everything will work out, I mean it always does. Literally always. But its still really hard to not be afraid.

One night this last week I was feeling particularly "fearful." So I opened up the scriptures, and I turned right to the scripture in Alma where it talks about the stripping warriors. Its in Alma 56...

45 And now I say unto you, my beloved brother Moroni, that never had I seen so great courage, nay, not amongst all the Nephites.
 47 Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

They didn't fear because they trusted in the Lord! They knew that if they were obedient and acted they would be alright. They had so much faith. Also note that they didn't doubt what their mothers had taught them, which is also kind of ironic because if I always believed what my mom says than I would have no reason to fear either.

Lastly, when I attended the meeting where the lady discussed fear I like the quote that she shared with us. She said she has this posted on her bathroom mirror...
"What would I do if I were no longer afraid?"

When I honestly ask myself this question, I realize that there are so many opportunities that pass by based solely on my fear of failure. With that being said I hope to be less fearful of the future, and I plan on accomplishing that by trusting in the Lord. Its definitely easier said than done but it just takes one day at a time.

Nevertheless

Today I woke up and my laptop was not turning on. I drove a friend who just had surgery to campus and looked for a handicap parking spot for 40 min. My classes were hard. It was freezing rain outside. It was only DAY THREE and things weren't looking as great as I hoped.

Fast forward a few hours and I'm in my Book of Mormon class. We are ready 1 Nephi chapter 1 verse 1...

"1 I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days."

We placed emphasis on the 'nevertheless' and Nephi's purpose in using it. He is basically saying "all these bad things have happened, nevertheless, god is real, and he loves me and thats more important than the bad things that happened to me." Nephi had a lot of bad stuff happen to him but he chose to see the good things, he chose to see the blessings.
In class we used the 'greater than sign' to represent nevertheless. Like this...

Its raining today < I have an umbrella and a car to drive in and appropriate warm clothing.

This was really exactly what i needed to hear. I started to list off all the "bad things" that were happening today and changed them into 'nevertheless' statements.

My laptop wont turn on, nevertheless, I have a car and can drive to an Apple store thats not too far
School is so hard, nevertheless, I have been blessed to go to an amazing university where I can grow and learn and be stretched to become someone better.
Parking on campus is a pain, nevertheless, YOU HAVE A CAR. be happy.
Everything seems to never go my way, nevertheless, god has a better plan for you.

You get the idea... After I did it though I really was so much happier. I saw all the blessings that I had in my life and all the things in front of my 'neverthelesses' became so small and insignificant. Being positive and really looking, searching for gods hand in your life will make you so much happier.

So next time everything seems to fall apart, just take a look at all the 'neverthelesses' you have.